A Love Story: A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread - and Thou

Food is sexy. Yes, yes, we're all tired of the whole "food porn" thing, and it's been done to death, but the fact remains. Food is sexy. Come on. Admit it. You've never sniffed and tasted a raw mushroom and thought to yourself that it smelled like sex? In a good way, I'm saying, not in a morning-after way. Really fresh oysters are sexy. Creamy, smelly cheeses are sexy. Wine is sexy. Sharing food with someone you are newly in love with is ridiculously sexy.

The first time I was actually embarrassed to eat something in public was in a little French bistro. I ordered a pastry (I think it was simply called walnut cake) which was made up of many layers of meringue and walnut paste and I can't remember what else. But it tasted so remarkably delicious and  was so voluptuously velvety in my mouth that it made me want to moan with pleasure. I remember looking around furtively, wondering if the other diners could tell I was being transported. It was sexy, I tell you.

Sexy is one thing and the notion of aphrodisiacs is another-- it seems pretty obvious that it's not the ingredients themselves that turn us on, but the way in which we experience them. People have been using food to try to snare those they desire forever, and I suppose it made a certain amount of sense in the days before we understood psychology to assume that the ingredient itself was responsible for a successful outcome, but this cause and effect assumption led to some pretty odd ideas. We all know that asparagus, figs, caviar, chocolate, alcohol, and dozens of other foods have historically been considered aphrodisiacs, but did you know that cocklebread was used in the 17th century to get a man interested? Indeed, the bread dough was kneaded against the maker's erm, parts. John Aubrey wrote:

Young wenches have a wanton sport which they call `moulding of cocklebread' - they get upon a table-board, and then gather up their knees and their coates with their hands as high as they can then they wabble to and fro with their buttocks as if they were kneading of dough with their arses, and say these words: `My dame is sick and gone to bed! And I'll go mould my cocklebread'

In this case, I suspect that the young wenches got a lot more out of "wabbling to and fro" than their unsuspecting recipients got out of the cocklebread itself (and no, this post does not contain a recipe for cocklebread, nor did I try to make it. Jack was intrigued, but I do believe my withering stare changed his mind).

I bet you're wondering when I'm going to get around to an actual recipe, aren't you? Well, I'm not. Instead I'm just going to describe a favorite romantic meal Jack and I have been sharing for years, prefaced with the story of how we met and fell in love.

Jack and I got to know each other through the internet. He was in London and I had just moved to New York and we found ourselves arguing (on the same side and opposite sides, depending on topic) on a message board. Pretty quickly the arguing soon turned into sparring and witty banter and one day Jack posted he was going to visit the States and that NYC was on his itinerary. Naturally I posted an offer to buy him a drink. Though neither of us had ever expressed any sort of romantic interest or even acknowledged it to ourselves, it apparently became clear to the rest of the message board community that something was in the air and we received a fair amount of teasing. In the months before Jack's visit we emailed quite a lot and it is fair to say that receiving an email from him was often the happiest moment of my day (on lots of days).

And then that day in October, the Friday we met, arrived. I had suggested that we meet in Jimmy's Corner, one of the few "real" bars left in Mid-Town and just a couple of blocks from where I was working. We'd never exchanged photos, so I only knew I was looking for a man with dark hair and eyes and wearing black. When I arrived I did a quick walk-through, and not seeing anyone dressed in black, took a seat at the bar where I was promptly joined by some guy who was decidedly not Jack and who insisted on buying me a drink, even though I explained I was there to meet someone. It was mildly embarrassing to explain that I didn't know what that someone looked like and didn't know if he was, in fact, in the bar or not. After half an hour and repeated suggestions from the not Jack guy that I should give up and hand over my phone number, I decided to go and ask a lone man in a white (not black!) shirt if he was, in fact, Jack.

"I'm afraid so," he answered.

We had dinner in the East Village and spent the rest of the evening in a couple of dives (we like dives!) and then made plans to meet the next afternoon for a pub crawl in my neighborhood-- Williamsburg-- and to go to Coney Island on the following day. It was a lovely weekend and I was smitten, which became pretty obvious when I asked him to stay with me Sunday night (he turned me down!). I'm happy to report that on Monday he came to his senses and we spent as much of the remainder of his time in New York together as we could. All too soon it was time for him to fly back to England. We were very sensible and mature about it, agreeing that long distance relationships are difficult and that we should get on with our lives and not pine for each other.

Two months later I flew to London. That was it and for the next four years we were transatlantic, seeing each other about every six weeks, taking it in turns to cross the Atlantic. My passport from those years is very, very crowded with Heathrow and Gatwick entry stamps. During the times we were apart, the whining sound of an airplane beginning its descent into JFK or La Guardia would induce a terribly sharp longing in me many, many times a day.

Each time Jack flew into New York I made sure I had a selection of good cheeses, spicy olives, crusty bread and red wine on hand. He'd arrive in the early evening and we'd spend the rest of it in bed with the food and wine nearby.

Which brings me back to my point about sexy food... there is something about this particular combination of ingredients that plays all the right notes. We like to contrast a soft, oozing brie or camembert  with a sharp and impertinently dirty blue of some kind. We usually add a firm, robustly-flavoured hard cheese such as an aged cheddar. Look at those adjectives! Soft, hard, oozing, dirty, sharp... cheese ought to be illegal. The other notes are the arresting bitterness of olives, the earthy and satisfying texture of ham spiked with tangy Dijon, the mouth-puckering sourness of cornichons... the bittersweetness of homemade marmalade against the cheeses... all played over the solid backing of good bread and a heavy red. Casanova wrote that blue cheese and red wine are just what is needed to "restore an old love and to ripen a young one."

Jack managed to get himself a job in New York five years ago, so the constant traveling is no more. But we still make it point to indulge in a meal of wine and cheese and bread several times a month. Just as surely as the sound of an airplane overhead never fails to remind me of how in love with Jack I was and still remain, this meal reminds us both of all of the richness of our lives together.

This is my entry for The Kitchen of Love event, hosted by Chris of Melle Cotte, who gave us this lovely logo and asked us tell her about an appetizer, main dish or side dish that includes at least one aphrodisiac. I'm not sure I quite followed the rules here, unless you believe a cheese board is a main meal, and while I don't believe in aphrodisiacs, wine is considered to be one. And if you take Casanova's word for it, so is the cheese.

Me, I just think food can be very, very sexy.

Comments

[Manggy]

Arrghh! I'm so in love with this post. I have the widest smile ever and I'm not even involved in the story :p I'm sorry, why in the world was Jack not wearing what he said he'd wear? What a w*****! Hee hee, I'm just joking. Is the message board still alive?

Great event, though my love story that never was is no match for this great post, haha :)

[Marla]

I love a great love story -- and this is truly one! The cheese smorgashboard meal is one of my all time favorites.

[Rachael]

That is so fantastically romantic!

[Karyn]

Wow, your story reads like a romance novel, in a good way. It's just about the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

[giz]

I can't think of anything more satisfying than brie cheese, french loaf and a good glass of wine. You've so hit my weakness. I think I gained a pound just looking at it.

[Jack]

I'd like to say that the only reason I turned her down was because I wanted to NOT turn her down far, far more than was sensible, given the situation. A night of severe self-kicking soon straightened me out. :-)

This post made me a bit misty, here in the Italian alps...

[Psychgrad]

Ohh...the juicy details of Ann and Jack. Very interesting post!

Yeah Jack - what's up with the white shirt? Was it an escape tactic, if necessary?

Point #6 is how R and I met (hope the link will work). No food involved. We're discovering food as we go.

[amy]

your story is so reminiscent of mine and jonny's... it's almost uncanny. of course, yours has a much more romantic beginning... I met my british husband as I was living in NYC but visiting someone in london. let's just put it this way, i never thought i would meet someone in a bar - EVER. but, similar to you, emails turned into more emails, which turned into phone calls, which finally turned into a similar, "I'm coming to the US for a visit and will be in NYC and I'd love to see you". One 'date' in New York City turned into a full week (and one missed plane home) of hanging out, eating and drinking around town and falling in love. I give you credit for lasting 4 years long-distance! I could only do it for 8 months and then I cracked. But when they finally are close and you no longer have to spend the $$ and the emotions on the long-distance thing, you really appreciate your relationship in a different way. Thanks for making me reflect on my own love-story... I often take it for granted and forget the crazy hard times of trying to 'make it work'. Sorry this has no food-related content!

Amy @ http://www.neverfull.wordpress.com

[Pasticcera]

How lovely to hear the rest of the story...I just heard part of it from Jack on our short but sweet lunch Thursday. How very lovely and romantic.

[Sophie]

That made me break into a huge smile! So sweet, I can't belive he wasn't wearing black though!!! :-)

[Julie]

I always love a great how-we-met story. Very romantic.

(BTW, that description of the wanton wenches making cocklebread sounds like a bit from a Monty Python movie.)

[Johanna]

that is such a lovely romantic story, Ann, and such a great reminder that often the simplest foods are the best.

I spent 9 months apart from my partner after meeting him in Edinburgh - long distance love is not ideal but it does make you appreciate being together! (mind you, he is now wondering where he can get cocklebread!)

[Astra Libris]

Your story is incredible! So beautifully written, too... and I quite agree - food is incredibly sexy... Especially mushrooms...

Also, a belated thank you for the post on my blog about the sesame cookies! :-) I'm so glad you led me to discover your fantastic blog!

[Chris]

This is the most fabulous post...ever!!! Okay - that's it. I am moving back to NYC or to London...one of the two. Everything about this post is the bomb - from the video to the story, to the wine and cheese. Thank you so, so much for participating.

[Ann]

Manggy, his pants and jacket were black... but he didn't have the jacket on and he was sitting at a table, so who knew? :-)

Marla, not a new story to you, though, is it? :-)

Rachel, I am very happy to say that it continues to be fabulously romantic!

Karyn, *whew*! Glad you added the "in a good way" bit! ;-)

giz, yes we try not to over-indulge in these special meals... the calorie count is very high between the cheese and the wine. :-)

Jack, hurry home. <3

Psychgrad, I followed your link. What a lovely story!

amy, seems that we have a lot in common. Both with Brits, both overcoming the transatlantic thing, both in Brooklyn. We may need to go and have a live ale together one evening. :-)

Pasticcera, I am SO jealous that Jack got to meet you and I didn't!

sophie, he's a little absent-minded, or hadn't you noticed? :-)

julie, I learned about cocklebread a few months ago and have been itching to find a way to work it into a post ever since... hilarious, isn't it?

Johanna, try the withering stare. it worked for me. ;-)

Chris, thank YOU so much for hosting such a fun event!

[Marla]

No, not a new story. A sweet story, a modern fairytale, one I don't tire of re-hearing. It renews my belief in true love and in the human spirit to stand up and risk it.

[yulinka]

What a charming story! You and Jack are very lucky.

[Ann]

Marla, it's always nice to have people who were there and watching it happen drop by :-)

yulink, yes we are very lucky. And we know it.

[núria]

Hola Ann! I love your story!!! Isn't it great to fall in love and keep that feeling up after the years? Great post!

[Tina]

That was a wonderful post. Just reading through it was romantic. So much Romance. Just a wonderful post!!

[Angel]

What a fantastic way to spend your time together. In bed with some wine cheese and delicious breads. Definitely the way to help sate some romancing. I adore your story, and wish you and jack many years of joy together.

[Ivy]

Hi Ann,
I enjoyed reading your post and what a romantic story. Happy Valentine's Day to you all.

[Zenchef]

That's the cutest story ever! For some reasons, girls in message boards think I'm a weirdo! Jack I need help! :-)
The buttocks-knead bread sounds fascinating. I want the recipe! Haha

[Ann]

núria, thanks for stopping by! And yes, it really is a wonderful thing.

Tina, thank you!

Angel, well we always thought it was a nice way to say "hello" :-)

Ivy, and right back at you!

Zenchef, well, see... I like weirdos, so Jack was in luck. As for the cocklebread... you don't need a recipe, you need someone willing to um... work the dough for you! :-)

[helen]

Ann,

This post is incredibly sexy. I, like many others, truly appreciate a great love story.